Whether in India or anywhere in the world, any crisis that is related to humans will affect married life either directly or indirectly. The ongoing pandemic is no different and has hugely impacted marriages which could be felt even when the pandemic is over. Here we will explore how this pandemic has been impacting married lives.
Wherever you turn these days, the discussion seems to lead to the pandemic of COVID-19. Although some individuals look at the positive implications of the lockdown by seeing it as an opportunity to spend time with their family or manage a healthy workout schedule, other individuals are forced into confinement or face a whole other set of problems-forming mental health issues and child care concerns to a devastating rise in domestic violence. The life-shattering problems of divorce and separation can also fall into the latter group. If you feel that it is affecting your mental health then doctors can play a big role in these situations. It is better to have online consultation with doctors to ensure adequate and compassionate guidance and treatment is provided. One such platform is mediflam.com where from the comfort of your home you can consult some of the best doctors for psychological support.
Facing unusual problems has become the new standard as coronavirus continues to disrupt lives whether economically, in studies, or environment. However, the pandemic and imposing stay-at-home orders have affected some of the marriages by increasing the surge in domestic violence in India and an increase in divorce cases in India, just like some of the countries in the world are facing this psychosocial crisis. But, it would not be fair to blame coronavirus entirely for a rise in divorce rates and problems with marriages because many people already had marriage problems before the pandemic which has only escalated during the lockdown.
In this pandemic tension, there have been job cuts or salary reductions. For some couples arguments related to savings and expenses have increased in this difficult time. For others, the lockdown has uncovered problems that run deeper and given enough time for reflection, causing them to think about their choices during the pandemic to seek separation. Relationship counselors regularly rate the most common causes of relationship issues as financial tension, boredom, parental disputes, and arguing over household chores. As many couples remain in their house 24/7, teaching or helping children with studies, and financial uncertainty has put an added pressure on the marriages. Also, the support that we used to get from friends and relatives has become harder to reach like venting to friends over coffee or spending a night out in the city is no more a choice. If you have used these outlets to relieve tension, or maybe to avoid coping with deeper issues, you might suddenly find yourself in a position to face a different head-on. This has led to added pressure on the already failing relationships. The National Commission for Women (NCW) has revealed that there has been a substantial rise in the number of domestic violence cases since the lockdown came into force — almost doubling the number while many advocates have revealed that they are getting many calls where people want to file for a divorce.
Experts also note that when individuals encounter greater stress from sources external to a relationship, they struggle more within their relationships to solve problems, and can unconsciously take this stress out on each other. This stress can lead to conflicts which in most extreme situations further lead to abuse which is why in 2020 there is a surge in contacting the country’s domestic violence helpline when compared to last year.
Spending time 24/7:
Research on marriage in India has discussed that a key to happy married life depends on the couple’s adjustments, compromises, and avoid spending too much time with each other giving each other that space. This space has collapsed in this lockdownas the bonding in the couple starts to be felt as they spend an entire day together in one house for days and also work from home. The dynamics within the house have changed leading to further deterioration of the already pent-up resentments against each other and other family members, and create opportunities for future conflicts. It may lead couples, in the worst cases, to rethink their compatibility.
A test of time:
The fragility test will not be limited to marriage and romantic relationships, but it will also apply to friendships. Reports say that reaching out to friends for long conversations is one way to deal with loneliness. But what if the friends end up telling their side of the story regarding the partner who is not helpful, or facing difficulty in handling children with their studies and eagerness to go out and play, or getting less help from maid or cook. Our mental health will certainly be affected by the situation. It will not only contribute to job security and debt tension, but it will bring secret dysfunctionalities within families and relationships to the fore.
Increase in burden:
The women of the house are experiencing a big brunt in this lockdown. Women-housewives or workers are often their families’ emotional sponges, handling the emotions of each, listening to their needs. Scholars have proven that women who prefer to stay at home perform essential unrecognized work. During thelockdown, when many men are working from home, housewife’s work has increased as they need to look after all of them and cater to their needs throughout the day which in normal times women would have got some time for herself when men go out and work. With no maid or cook, women of the house are more stressed out as they are always busy cooking, cleaning, and helping out family members. If it was for few days then even women would also understand but with lockdown going on for months their patience may also run out leading to domestic violence and the victim, in this case, are the worst affected. The police of Uttar Pradesh have already pre-empted this situation and launched a special hotline to address the pressing issue of domestic abuse, especially during the time of lockdown.
Below are a few other factors that may establish disharmony in married couples.
- Anxiety – For most people fear of contracting the coronavirus and uncertainty about the future have caused tension and anxiety. Often this fear is displaced and directed toward the partner, which worsens the marital relationship.
- Work overload – While working from home you get the benefit of saving travel time especially in metro cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, etc, the company may expect their staff to work a little extra. This overwork can cause frustration or anxiety which in turn affects the life partner.
- Jobless/ salary reduction – In many individuals, fear of losing jobs or reducing salaries has created anxiety. By over-working and satisfying their bosses, they have a difficult time justifying their job/salary. The anxiety and fear of job cuts can affect marital relationships.
- Travel related job – People who used to travel regularly before Covid-19 for job purpose like marketing field, it is very difficult for them to stay at home all day as they are used to staying away from home. Their partner is often tuned to a similar arrangement, usually away from her/his spouse. Concerning the living styles of each other, these couples can end up having regular conflicts.
- Unfeasible expectations – When there is a financial crisis it is obvious that some of the expectations cannot be met and when these expectations are not met from the partner it can create a lot of conflict leading to domestic abuse.
- Improper communication – For any healthy relationship, communication is very important. If there is a lack of respect for communication, correct use of vocabulary, acceptable sound, and body language, marital peace can be hindered.
CONCLUSION
Is the COVID-19 pandemic going to raise divorce cases? Maybe it’s too early to say. Many criteria determine the chances of couples staying together even during this pandemic and one of them is at what age you get married. People who get married in their mid-20s tend to struggle more financially and emotionally as they are still trying to stabilize themselves in their workplace and also little matured. Couples who marry at this age can encounter problems of divorce and family violence. The corona virus scare has likely caused some of these problems to occur faster than they would otherwise have. Whereas, couples who opt to get married in their late 20s or early 30s tend to have long-lasting married life as they are stable in their work, have some savings to use in difficult times, and are even more matured to tackle problems. It seems that COVID-19 may be the reason that certain couples surrender to divorce or breakup, but it is evident that it is not the only factor that affects their relationships.
